Thursday, December 30, 2010

I am home. I am in the process of packing up christmas decorations, and finishing up the few straggling christmas cards...eww.

I'm so sad the christmas season is over. The snow is just now falling..and I desperately want this vacation to last forever.

Home was....excellent. Sometimes I forget all the amazing memories I have stored up on Newington street, staring back at me from those bread bowls on the wharf, in my touching and captivating church, in the people and places I grew so much in. It was fun to go and rediscover them with my dearest loved ones. It was fun to go through the "red box" and talk about our family secrets. It was fun to make new family secrets-like Colorado Bulldogs. It was just fun! =)

Now a new year is upon start, new beginning, new amazing grace. What goals will I set for myself? What will I do with this "new"?

Sunday, December 5, 2010

Sometimes asking big questions is just what a soul needs.

Who is God? What does it mean to now him? What does it mean to be in his presence and not?

I don't have to know all the answers to thoroughly enjoy the conversation. A reminder that there is more to life than what it seems, and He is behind it all. Nothing bigger than that, nothing more.

A good small group. Good to be intentional again. Good to be a little out of our league. Good to see Mark connect with someone in a way I struggle to connect with him. Just...good.

Saturday, December 4, 2010

Here's to

~putting up Christmas trees, where every ornament shares a story only my love and I can tell.

~new babies, not mine, but someone so near and dear to me. I have been waiting and hoping, and only my sister's pregnancy could make me more excited.

~blogs, reading other's reminds me of who I want to be, the secret dreams I dream snuggled in my bed, and the outright ridiculousness of people. =)

~opportunity, we have so much, and I oftentimes take it for granted. Don't waste it, please share it.

~ christmas cards, gimme gimme gimme! =)

Love and cheer,


Saturday, November 27, 2010


Well...a little late (but worth the wait). ;)

1. I'm thankful for family. Yes the little one that is me and Mark (and our precious kits), and the little traditions and words and habits that make us a unit, but also in a much bigger sense, my extended family and the heritage I have inherited from them. A trip to TX couldn't have come at a better time, and I so enjoyed my brother's many trips into the old attic of my Meemaw's old house...we have a rich history, and I am happy to have learned more of it.

2. I'm thankful for my love, my best friend, my partner in...everything. I am so glad that I had a choice in who I got to share my life with, and that he is a man I love, respect, and adore.

3. I am thanful for music. For trumpet solos at military funerals, caroling with friends, the soulful stylings of Over the Rhine and Steven Curtis Chapman Christmas, and singers for a father and a husband. =)

4. I am thankful for friends. The kind I have...the ones you laugh, cry, everything with. They're the best. =)

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Snow Angel

"Once upon a winter, it seems so long ago, my one and only love and I fell down upon the snow. And as the dusk was falling from our gray and goose down sky, we heard the old cathedral bells ring out our lullaby..." Snow Angel-OTR

Usually by this time of the year I grumpily wake up in the morning (after hitting snooze 4 times), touch my sweet, unpainted toe to our beautiful wood floor, and curse the winters of Colorado.

But this year...there has yet to be an awe-inspiring, all-silencing, all-encompassing snow. I miss it, I need it, I want it. Surprising, I know. Quiet walks bundled with my babe, hikes to Snooze after a snow day, drinking tea and watching the huge flakes float softly to the ground...ahhh, it is time.

So, winter, no more wet, short, non-sticking, 30 minute snow storms. Let's get a doosy-a two days off of work kinda doosy. And soon? Before Christmas please.

waiting and dreaming...

Snow angel

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

I have been getting better acquainted with a girl at school over the past few weeks. And knowing her, and communicating with her...changes me in small ways at every encounter and (I dream) may in big ways as our relationship grows. I admire her. And I hope with every encounter she rubs off a little more. She is such a blessing.

Last week I saw two kids get hit by a car. A kinder and 1st grader. Two little burmese brothers. And that had made me 1. a cautious driver. 2. a (n overly) cautious teacher during dismissal. 3. scared of crossing the street. and finally 4. worried for all involved parties. Just sharing.

Mark has started a new job. I am so thankful for this opportunity. We have been waiting and wishing and hoping and praying for what seems like forever, it is good to see God come through in this way. Of course with change comes minor (major) routine shifts that can often cause one (me) anxiety or grumpiness. =) Mark has so spoiled me these last few months, pray for me to pick up the slack and get used to a little less sleep...I can do it, I can do it, I can do it.

We have (FINALLY!) found our home...our church...our church home. Hope Community Church. It is a good place to be, and I am so happy to invest there.

Well, to sufjan and boxed inspiration


ps: I got an ukulele for my bday. And I am learning it splendidly. And I am carrying on a tradition. And I love it. =)

Thursday, October 21, 2010


Steve being apart of my family.
Beth getting the promotion.
Terry giving me night snuggles again.
Pumpkin chocolate chip cookies.
Autumn drinks.
Daddy talks.
Mark getting a job.
Getting to see Aim and Jase this Christmas.
PeaceCorp possibilities.
The Border Bar.
The huge tree in my front yard that is slowly yet surely changing.
Pumpkins on my front porch.

Sunday, October 17, 2010

Today my love and I rode our bikes in the crisp, fall air. We biked to the store to get ingredients for the yummy buttermilk pies and pumpkin cookies we made for our fall party tomorrow (come!). THen we biked to a beautiful park...yellow, orange, gold, red leaves reflecting off of a lake....absolutely breath-taking. How can one not think of God when surrounded by his creation. I sure do love living in a place that has seasons.

Mark is so good with does he do it? =) I hadn't ridden a bike in the last ten years until very recently. He sweetly encouraged me and whilst riding always continues to tell me that "I can do it". are about to hit me, or I'm about to topple headfirst on the can be a scary thing, bike riding. =) haha.

I love spending lazy days with my hubs...enjoying where we live, the bodies that we have, and planning crazy goals like training to bike ride to CA. (Don't worry, we WILL do this).

A little over one year together and so much more ahead. I'm amazed at how much we've grown this past year, amazed at how much more I love this man now than when we were married, at how gently and completely he loves me and all my faults...

There are so many opportunities on our horizon right now. Oftentimes, this scares me, as I'm a planner to the core. But...right now I am going with it. Hoping, praying, investing, spreading myself...this right now is my life, and it's a darn good one. Whatever it takes, and however we get to where we'll end up, is all apart of the adventure.

I'm happy to announce that I'm a little more tired this week than I was last. A little more worn out, a little more over-worked. A thought I had once many years ago comes to me now. When my life is over, I hope I am dirty, my hands are worn, I'm tired, I'm weak, I'm all used up.

Used up and Happy,


Sunday, September 19, 2010


I have been blessed with such an amazing family.

This last week has been long and hard, and my mom, my dad, and my sister (and my husband, my roommates, and my family-in-law) have been dealing with it right beside me day in and day out. What a great family! How special it is that when things aren't going well for me, my family interrupts their own life to come alongside me, get angry with me, cry with me, help me find the answers.thanks family.

Friday was a work day at PBA, and I was able to take my laptop and work in my classroom listening to the beautiful sounds of OTR, and the musical stylings of my father. =) (I miss ya, dad...sunday morning just isn't the same without you.) I prayed for a renewed sense of purpose and plan at Place, for a renewed calling for the students, for a chance to make a difference there.

I wish you all, with your tender and compassionate hearts, could invest in the children at Place. What a huge difference we could make! If even we could get all the ece and kinders shoes that fit them that'd be something...

love and passion,


Thursday, September 9, 2010

I love re-connecting with old co-workers. The teacher I worked with last year was so fantastic, so full of wisdom (and fun!). Missing her this year...

The books I have been reading about Burma have formed this exotic, unknown, uninfiltrated picture of that place and those people. To go to Burma...that is to go to the end of the world, the last frontier. To go to Shan state.....impossible. What wonders it would hold though...what wonders.

Monday, September 6, 2010


Yesterday was an amazing day...

Getting to go to church on a decent amount of sleep makes all the difference in the world. I loved connecting with the pastor, meeting new people, observing older, wiser couples....I can see us there. I am anxious to see where we end up.

Over the Rhine was absolutely moving. I music, love it. I get so lost in it, but also, somehow find myself. OTR opened with "I Want you to be my Love" and it felt like such a sweet, simple, intimate blessing from God.

At church yesterday Dean mentioned struggles, mountains that seem insurmountable. I thought of my faltering dreams of a life lived...differently, and wondered if I was a silly/naive, idealistic girl...

In one of the songs coming out on the new album the lyrics said something about everyone has a dream that they never see lived...and again I thought of my own dreams. And a rush of assurance, of confidence, of divine plan, of a purposed life....came over me. And that made me cry ever so bitterly as I thought about all the more waiting I had to do.

I have more to learn, I have harder yet to love, I need clearer yet a vision, I need a more willing leg to limp, I need stronger still a faith. the meantime, there are difficult people to love and learn to work with.
a husband I must better support, encourage, and love.
a people that I can give a voice...a language too...
an education that I can pursue and further myself in.
and...a trivia night where, if I'm lucky, I'll win us a round of free drinks. =)

with (wavering) hope and assurance of things hoped for....

Wednesday, August 18, 2010


I've somewhat started my new job. Sometimes change is difficult for me, and even though this job is my "dream job", the newness of it is still (at times) presenting challenges.


I am so excited to be where I am. I respect and admire the PBA administration in a way that spurs me to invest deeply. Invest in teacher relationships, kid relationships, to work my absolute hardest, and then work even harder. I want to live up to the high standards that the administration has set. It feels so good to work on a team that shares my passion for the kids we work for. It feels so good to resonate with my job.

( to get 1,000 plus kids off of their bus, into the right teacher's classroom, while on tv...?)

Sunday, August 8, 2010


for girl friends i can laugh, cry, drink, and hot tub with.

for a husband who works crazy hours, and then at 2 in the morning pays for a crying girl's cab home after she's been abandoned in the rain.

for my kits

and for my home...even when it's scary at 2 am by myself! =)

Wednesday, July 14, 2010


Our house has been absolutely crazy since we moved in! People over every other night, community meals, sleepovers, talks-serious and otherwise!, laughs,cries...doing life with people is what it is all about. Or, as Beth told a customer recently,"Community, it's good for the soul!".

Mark's friend Lee passed through last week with a handful of his friends (won't you all come back and live awhile?!). So, with them all sleeping down in the basement that put the house total to...5 boys, 4 girls, a pup, and two kits. It was great!

As you do, or don't know, two of our couches do not fit into our new house-through neither door nor window. Believe it or not, we continue to pull them out of our garage on a nightly basis as we grill out with our friends, get the fire pit going, and have yummy smores! I love sitting out in the backyard on my green snuggly couch roasting a mallow, listening to radical face, and getting to know some really cool people.

I could not have more enjoyed my weekend with all of us living in one big house! Mark has often hinted at commune living, and I have not always been so sure...but if Lee is there and he makes yummy raspberry french toast, I am SO in. =)

Love and community-get some.


I've finished three books in the last week.

"Silence" by Shusako Endo

"Silence" is one of Mark's favorite books. It follows the life of a missionary in Japan at a time when Christianity was forbidden. This story is gripping, moving, and ...unsatisfying in that it leaves you with so many questions about faith, and the heart of God. I definitely recommend it-power through the first 30 pages or so, after that it gets good!

The Silence of God is something so hard to wrap one's head around...

"Notes from the Hyena's Belly" by Nega Mezelkia

I saw this book at the library and had to choose it. It is a coming of age story, written by an Ethiopian man. The book is full of Ethiopian history-political and otherwise, as well as popular Ethiopian folklore, and an amazing tale of a young boys survival during the communist years in Ethiopia. Plans to visit Harar are now underway...

"Tears of the Desert" by Halima Bashir

I could not put this book down once I started it. It is the tragic and triumphant autobiography of a woman doctor in Darfur. I felt like I had lived in her little village with her after reading this book, which made the war in Darfur all the more horrifying as Halima courageously shared her story. As one person she has made such a difference, I want her same fire and strength to possess me.

Monday, July 5, 2010


I'm sitting in my new content. In 3 days we pretty much have everything done. Pictures are hanging, curtains are up, all the knick knacks and random stuff have a looks great in here!

We had a successful 4th party last night..well, maybe there was a little too much sangria involved, but it was a blast! I love friends, food, sparklers, and games! I even loved getting caught in the rain and having 20 soaking wet people huddled in the sun room looking at fireworks. Life is good!

Summer is so wonderful, I want it to last forever, but also can't wait for school to start back up again.

Love and water world,


Sunday, June 27, 2010


Went to a cool service today at an international church.

A burmese refugee missionary spoke, a karen choir sang...I cried.

I met a couple that I encouraged, and that encouraged me.

We came home with ideas- big and small.

Mark's heart still makes me cry. He's so great.

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Julie and Julia

So I watched Julie and Julia last week. Although it took me awhile to get into it-great-what a lovely movie. I laughed, I cried...and I've created a blog. I've blogged before-religiously a few years back, but it's been awhile. I have always said (and still hold) that I am most able to express (and understand) myself, after I've written it all out. On paper, it seems, after this and that and the other thing, there in the middle (or end, or wherever)my heart has been expressed, I get to the center of what I'm really all about ...that day, that hour, that minute, or in life.

So, here I am finding my center again. And also...putting off packing. I have boxes, tons of boxes, but oh how I don't want to put my things in these boxes. Not because I'm not excited to move-I'm so excited! Can't wait! Wished it'd already happened!

For those of you who don't know...Mark (my husband) and I, are moving into our first ever house on July 1st. We're moving in with our best friends Nick and Beth Elder. Say what you want...but we are excited, no thrilled, for this opportunity for community (and let's face it-a yard, a drive way, a guest bedroom, and a washer and dryer!). Fun!

Off for now...gotta pack, and practice Home. =)