Sunday, January 30, 2011

boo blah ickety ick kind of a week...

Hardest week in a long while....lots of changes at school. (change for one five year old is difficult, change for 32 5 year olds....god awful.)

I am super duper sick. And have been. For a very long time. And I miss going out, and hanging out with friends over blueberry waffles, or a drink, or at an ice skating, out I miss! I miss church and good connection time with new friends, I miss my hubby and the way we do life when I'm not lying in bed. I miss the gym and my hour long appointments with the treadmill, I miss the burn, the exhaustion and the delight. I miss a clean house, clean laundry, clean kit lit box. I miss being ahead on all our paperwork-my teaching app, taxes, bills, etc.

Not sure if you can tell, but I hate being sick.

But ...I will live. There is hope for tomorrow, light at the end of the tunnel. Mark did some laundry. I'll call in a sub once more. I'll write some letters to my long lost friends. I'll read some more of my fabulous book, and hey, gym or not I'm back in a size maybe this sickness will be good for something.

Wednesday, January 26, 2011


I have been sick (in varying degrees) for the last two weeks. Yesterday it finally became time for me to call a sub for today. All afternoon I kept thinking if I can just make it a few more hours...

Upon arriving home last night I thought, "oohh sick day tomorrow, what will I do. Sleep in, laundry, sweep and mop, give the kits a bath, get in that long workout, run to the store, make a good dinner for mark...etc etc."

Should of just gone to work.

Saturday, January 22, 2011

not feeling great....nothing better than the bourne identity trilogy, twice baked potatoes, and cranberry and lime nums. =)

Monday, January 17, 2011

there's a woman at my school that reminds me of the child catcher from chitty chitty bang bang.

that's all.

my small university

Lots of times I question the university I chose to go to...(for lots of reasons we won't dive into).

Today I visited my alma mater and felt revived, and incredibly thankful.

How awesome is it that two years after I graduated, I can waltz into a number of my professors offices and catch up, talk, discuss, hug....pretty cool! I love it that I went to a tiny school where I was known. Not just by students and faculty but by my professors. I miss those important life view changing conversations, but am so thankful that even now my professors are rooting for me, and challenging me. So thank you CCU, for a chance to meet some incredible deep thinkers, and thank you professors for making me the person I am today.

Sunday, January 16, 2011


I was feeling really sick, didn't want to get out of bed...had a sore throat, the whole shebang.

But we had promised our friends, the Ways, that we would come over and help with their computer/internet stuff.

So we got there, and things were loud and hectic, and everyone wanted to play with me.

And after an hour or so I was exhausted and promptly laid down on the floor. Shortly after, we were served lunch, which...I was not feeling up to.

And then Maung Way came over with a huge smile on his face and said he was "very, very happy". You see, my husband had been working hard on setting up and explaining skype, and now Maung Way, for the first time in 15 years, is going to get to see his mom, his brothers, his family that he left behind at a young age.

After that I couldn't remember why I had ever been so grumpy in the first place.

Friday, January 14, 2011

feeling sick...and contemplative

I believe in callings. I was reminded of that dear truth a few hours ago during a conversation with a co-worker. She talked of her calling to teach and I was surprised, yet happy to hear her say that. People don't talk about callings really (anymore, or did they ever?). Maybe in the christian circle that is a word we use from time to time, but I haven't heard it in a LONG time. And yes, I believe that some of us do have certain vocational callings. Some of us...don't, and that is just fine.
I used to be someone that was so consumed with being on God's "right" path for me, that I weighed every decision and option in front of me. Oh wait, am I still that way? ;) I just want to live this life right...and there are so many different ways for me to do that. And I don't like choice...I like one clear "right" answer. But let's face it, at every road I look down I see some really awesome things, and some sorrow from missing out on the really awesome thing down that other road.

So, I'm trying to live in the now. And pray. And prepare for a few different options...just in case. And I'm remembering to continue to grow my mind, so I'm reading about people and places that I don't understand but desparately long to. And I'm wishing I could take a class or two in the summer (something other than the bollywood dance class that I know in my heart exists and in it's own little way is my calling for june and july). And I'm remembering my New Year's Sunday connection to God, when I sang that blessed Amazing Grace to the tune of all bets are off, we've got a New Year in front of us, I'm stripping off the weights of 2010 and moving forward to 2011...and I'm attempting to rid my heart of all malice, envy, vanity, pride...and replace it with things of Him.

Trying...not just thinking of all the things I want and need to change, but taking little steps and making little efforts...that is trying.

And my throat feels like it is on fire. and there are cottonballs in my eyes. and we know how I feel about cottonballs. it must be time for bed.

so far

The hardest thing I've had to do this year is teach a small group lesson on tying shoes.

One by one I put each child in my lap and showed them (twice) the steps to tying a shoe. "First you take one string in one hand, and the other in the other hand. Perfect. Now cross them. Cross them...cross this...good. Now you make a loop, uh oh, uh oh, a this. Can you do it? Good!. Then you take the other string and dance it all the way around the loop. Dance him around! Yay! Okay, now drop the end of the string. Drop it. Just drop it. Can you let go? Uh oh, what happened to your ears...drop it (as I am pulling it as hard as I can from their small little fists). Good... Go play with the blocks"

Patience is a virtue.
ECErs aren't ready to tie their shoes (although they are obsessed with their shoelaces)
3 kids succeeded (and one already knew).

Things I have Learned

1. I would/will be an excellent ECE teacher. in fact, I already have my class schedule and routines written in my head).
2. Sometimes cars get stuck in ice and snow, even when you've become an excellent snow driver.
3. Neighbors can be your best friends in ^ such an event.
4. Teachers, however kind and great and patient 9 out of 10 of them are, cannot be trusted. There are some bad apples out there, and as a parent I will always make it a habit to drop in on my child's classroom (and you should too!).
5. The bathroom is a bad place for a water and a sand table to be.
6. The business of doing your business should always be a private thing, nobody wants to witness that! (see #5!).
7. There isn't anything I wouldn't do for my man, my parents, or my siblings. I miss them all every day. (even mark, cause 10 hours of the day I'm not with him. it's pure hell. yes, i love his company that much.)
8. I won't always be the favorite at work, even though I secretly strive to be. And that has got to be okay.
9. Even thouhg I sometimes talk like I will pick a fight, I won't. However, I will stand up for right, truth, justice, and myself when I need to. Even if I still lose in the end, I will know I'm right and standing up for yourself is really the only good way to go down.
10. Mark makes big and small sacrifices for me everyday. Like coaching bball, and pouring my cup of coffee for me in the morning. He is such a good man, good husband.
11. Children these days watch too much Maury...and that is inaproppriate parents!

Thursday, January 13, 2011

cotton balls

I have discovered that I am allergic to cotton balls. When forced, during various artsy small group lessons, to touch a cotton ball (in particular, but not limited to, gluey ones) my body breaks out in goose bumps, I grow nauseous, and begin to sweat. I do not like cotton balls.