Thursday, December 6, 2018

A Christmas Baby

I haven’t always spent my Christmas season in the tropics, with the air con cranked high,
a hodge podge of Christmas decor and traditions a part of my holiday celebrations.
I’ll always think there’s a little something extra special about spending Christmas in a place that
actually has a winter, there’s just a bit more romance, magic, and “rightness” to it all, in my opinion.
I remember the year I fell in love with Mark, right during my most magical first Christmas in Denver.
The snow illuminates all the city lights and it’s just… breathtaking. I loved Christmas time in Denver.



I don’t have many memories of Mark and I planning for or chatting about children.
(Back in our first years of marriage I was desperate to get overseas, and probably every
“serious” conversation we had was about my burning passions and our 5 year goal of how we’d
end up where...so almost nothing has changed except that I’m able to have this conversation way
less frequently now….like once a month instead of once a week ;))


But one of our last Christmas’ in Denver I had a “moment”. Our church, which Mark was the
Music person (pastor? Director?) for on top of his teaching job, put on a musical using Andrew
Peterson’s “Behold the Lamb” album (fantastic, btw).  I remember one night sitting in the church- for a
service or a rehearsal or some such thing. It was cold and dark outside, and dark inside too, but
the twinkling Christmas lights and friendly faces made it warm and inviting. I was sitting next to
a friend who was expecting, bursting (like I am) with life coming at any moment. The band started
singing “Labor of Love”- a song about Mary as she gives birth to Jesus. And I can remember being
so swept up in that moment- in the magic of Christmas, the strength of Mary, the whole Christmas
story. And I guess at that time I knew children were a bit far off for us, but I remember wishing that
if the time ever came for us to have a child, that I could have a child right around Christmas time,
because of the magic and beauty and power of this season.


In insignificant ways I sometimes think God remembers me. This is hard for me to think- hard for me
to say- harder still to believe and impossible not to believe. I have prayed and hoped for so many
much more significant things, and yet in this small insignificant way, I think perhaps I was heard.
Mysterious and maddening.  


I read an essay about Advent by Sarah Bessey, whom I really enjoy reading when I have the time.
She says “advent is for the ones who know longing”.


I think of our daughter and why we named her Jubilee. Because we long for restoration and
we hope to be apart of bringing His kingdom here.


I think of our son, and the name we have chosen for him, because again, still, we long.

This Advent I am longing, and very soon I will hold a new little baby in my arms. I imagine we will
sit under the blasting air con, with the twinkly lights and Oh Holy Night and all the best Christmas
songs playing many times in the next few weeks. And I pray that this Christmas season is especially
sweet as I think of Mary while holding my son.

Monday, January 1, 2018

2017

As the year comes to a close I find myself taking stock of the last year, like all of you I am sure. I am thinking back on the places we traveled (literally and figuratively) and the road we're on now.

Here's my top ten of 2017.

10. London, Geneva, and Paris



Spending a week and a half in Europe on our way home to the U.S. last summer was--incredible. We reconnected with some much loved friends who hosted and babysat us as we made our way through Europe for the first time. We loved reminiscing with them and truly thank God for bringing them into our lives. We also very much enjoyed everything about eating and walking our way through Paris, the diversity of London, and the time in the outdoors in Switzerland. A special shout out to many chats with Junita and a visit to the ICRC that rekindled what I will always believe is my life calling to (in the words of Pope Francis), "welcome, protect, promote, and integrate" refugees.

9. Jubilee's 1st Birthday






First- we kept her alive for a year.
Second- is it just me or does everything start to get a little easier around then? Like- she's still in our charge, but more than likely she's going to survive- so, I guess I can relax a little. Am I right?
Third- This little girl was loved, celebrated, and prayed over on her birthday and all the days since and that's something really special.

8. Settling In






I feel like our little family goes back and forth a lot from Bangkok to the U.S. We're super lucky to get to do that and we try to be where we are, wherever we are. But one of the things that has happened this year, which I am incredibly grateful for, is that I have felt a bit more settled in in Bangkok this year. My transition from running a program in a very intense more than full time job to sudden stay at home mom to a lovely (and needy) baby girl made 2016... a bit rocky. I couldn't for the life of me figure out what it was I was doing in Bangkok. But this year has been incredibly beautiful. Our apartment complex and surrounding community are such a blessing. I've got a handful of mamas that do life with me pretty much every day. I don't think I would survive without them. I've got several women who are a bit ahead of me on this motherhood journey and I love peppering them with questions and am so thankful they listen to my whines and worries. I have several older and wiser women who act as our Bangkok mamas/grandmas- these women's interest in our family has been a very sweet blessing.

7. Laura and Rick Visited



In May Mark's sister and brother-in-law came for a visit. We were thrilled to show them around and had so much fun doing some touristy things with them in Bangkok and travelling to Chiang Mai together. It was especially sweet to see them loving on J girl!

6. Happenstance reunions with forever friends



In June we discovered that we were scheduled to be in Florida the same week as our dear friends Nick and Beth. Getting our two families together (despite un-synced nap times and breastfeeding in a wave pool) was pure magic. It makes me teary to think about. The icing on the cake was that since we were all on vacation with family- grandparents agreed to watch the kiddos so that we could live it up drinking minimargs (or some such) and winning at a trivia night. Can't wait for our next reunion!

5. Senior Chapel


Mark was honored to address the seniors in the Senior chapel at the end of the school year last year. This group of kiddos was very special to Mark, in small part because he taught most of them twice (as sophomores and seniors), but mostly because they were an exceptional group of young people. Mark did a fantastic job expressing his pride, love, and "charge" to his "kids"- many were touched.

4. THE wedding



My baby brother grew up and found an amazing woman and went and married her (pretty much all last year!). Their wedding was beautiful in every way and I was so proud of my brother and so happy to have gained a new friend in my sister-in-law Natalie.

3. Mark's lifegroup

At the beginning of the school year Mark purposefully prayed for direction on what students to pour into for the year. Shortly after, a group of kids approached him interested in meeting with him once a week. Mark has come home week after week excited about or mulling over the content of their discussions. It's always exciting and humbling to see God answer prayers.

2. Zaki



Speaking of answered prayer... we asked all of you to give our dear friend a bus load of money, and you did. I was timid and anxious to launch our fundraising effort for Zaki and you (and so many others) blessed us all abundantly with your generosity. We can't say thank you enough.

Including "zaki" in our TOP TEN list seems a strange thing. I'm not sure I've had a darker day than when we received news of his arrest. But we are hopeful about his future, and incredibly thankful that he is in relationship with our family- that he IS apart of our family. When you think of us and him, please continue to pray that his process with the Canadian government would be miraculously speedy and that he would remain strong in the detention center in Bangkok.

1. Christmas in California



There's always something magical about being at my parent's home for the holidays. And seeing them be lolli and pops with Jubilee is truly a gift.


2017 was full of a lot of life. Some moments were mundane- (too) early morning wake ups and dishes and babies that won't nap. Some moments were so full of all the best parts of living that we laughed until we cried (or probably for me, cried until I laughed). Some moments we despaired- sat in silent tears broken about the realities of the world. May our next year be just as full of moments mundane and magical. May we learn how to live in the brokenness of the world while hoping for and working towards His Kingdom.

Jubi's top ten:
10. nakey baby
9. Dijah
8. Emmie
7. Maxy
6. Outside
5. MoMo
4. Happy Feet
3. Aya
2. mamas milkies
1. raaraa
**These are the words she said over the course of writing this post- though this random sampling is pretty accurate. Special mention to pops and yaya (lolli), one more cheese please, "2", and "jot ay" (peek a boo in Thai)