Saturday, March 10, 2012


One of the first things I noticed upon my arrival at Colorado Christian University, was the obscene amount of geese (and therefore geese excrement), that shared my campus.

Over the years I have developed an ever increasingly hardened heart towards these animals. Obnoxious, dirty, hazardous (every time I turn on Mariposa they are alllll nesting in the road, one would think they would scurry away as you approach, but no...they would rather dent your car/break through your window then move out of the way). Hate 'em.

Earlier this week I was grumpy. It had snowed (enough said), I was expecting an important piece of mail and had just been informed that it had not arrived, just...pissy day.  One of those days when you hate everyone, and you just know everyone hates you. You aren't moved to compassion or pity by anything, but instead look at a person (or child's) time of weakness to crush them, annihilate them. A day with no grace, no hope, no love, no laughter. A dark, weary day that I trudged through with an even wearier soul.

As I drove home and approached the bend in the road where my sworn enemies-geese- hang out, one particular goose caught my eye.

He was attempting to move to the side of the road, but was badly injured. He walked with a limp that somehow also caused his entire loooong goose neck to bend down to the ground.

My first thought was "At last! Triumph! Take that you, dumb goose!". But then I watched a little longer (as he was a particularly slow walker). He evoked compassion from me. He made my heart hurt a little bit. I felt compelled to stop, to make time, to mend. (I didn't do those things. I don't know how to do those things for a bird).

As I drove away I marvelled at my ability to feel, to be moved, for my heart to be touched.

I thought about who I am and who I want to be. I thought about the things I've experienced and the things I plan on experiencing. I thought about who God made me to be, and why. I thought about how it is he intends to use me.

I have always been a sensitive person. I have always been caring, compassionate, easily moved to mother/shepherd/lend a helping hand. I don't like days when I am not that girl. I don't like days when I am angry, mean, short-tempered, and gloomy in my soul. I don't like days when I only think of myself, only care about my needs being met. I don't think God likes it either. I think each day he hopes to use me to love on others. He wants to use me to help other people feel seen, heard, known, loved, important, worthy.

It is a high calling to be God's hands and feet. I feel that is my calling (or at least a part of it). Somedays it is purpose I feel I am lacking...and that, I think, is the devils biggest victory in my life. What I do matters, how I do it matters, why I do it matters, the attitude in which I do it matters.

God-to bring glory to you in the smallest of things, that is my prayer.

May the hurting catch my eye. May I be compelled to stop, make time, mend.

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