Sometimes:
(if you were to ask me)
I know everything there is to know about the conflict in Burma.
I know everything there is to know about the history of my friends, the Ways.
I have learned to understand all the feelings that those friends of mine could possibly feel, and have shared their suffering with them.
They are our best friends and we know them (and connect with them) in a deep and profound way.
But sometimes:
(if you were to watch)
20 minutes can go by without a word being spoken.
I, or one of them, might attempt to communicate a thought, a plan, a feeling, or an idea, and then give up mid-sentence as we realize that the concept is too hard to explain. My Karen, or their English just isn't up to it.
Silence is easier than talking...cause talking can be exhausting.
And here, really, is the truth:
I love and connect with my friend the Ways in a deep and profound way. And sometimes, silence IS easier, because their vocabulary is just so limited. And I have mourned and mourned over all the things we cannot discuss because we don't have the words. And I have mourned and mourned and mourned over all the feelings they cannot express because their adjectives consist of "good" and "no good".
For months now, Maung Way has been telling us his job is "no good" and that his hand is "no good". He works at a meat packing plant in Greeley. They move over 2,000 cows through their plant on a daily basis. He cuts the same piece of meat every day. If you can imagine lifting your right arm into the air and slicing with a diagonal motion...well that's what he does. For eight hours a day, usually 6 days a week. And that is what he has done for the last 2 and a half years.
Last week he informed us that he has taken a leave from his job, in the hopes of finding a new job. He can simply no longer continue performing this job as he is in constant pain (did I mention he uses his crippled arm, he was shot in the hand at one point during his time in the Karen Liberation Army).
When he told us he had quit I was shocked, and worried. He has enough money to live off of for 3 months. But it got me thinking...he wasn't shocked by this decision, he has known for months that he simply cannot continue on in this way. He has known that he had to change jobs, he has even been asking us to help him find a new job. And had I known what he was TRULY trying to communicate to us, I probably would have looked a littler harder for a job for him. I probably would have been a bit more sympathetic when he told me about his arm while rubbing oils on it.
If only I listened more carefully. Listened and watched beyond the few words we can exchange. Because, people, you better believe that their hearts and ours are knitted together with the deepest of love and the most precious of affection. We are just limited, and the limitation is so discouraging. But I know that we have touched their lifes in an inexpressible way, and that God has used us to bring hope, and peace, and a clearer picture of His love for them. And I am here to confess that God has used them in the same way for me and Mark.
So ya, sometimes there are awkward moments. And alot of times there is alot that isn't said, that can't be said. But by God's grace, my mind will keep working during those silences, and my heart will hear the words that are unable to be expressed. And one day, whether it's on this earth or in Heaven, we will sit down and talk for days...reminisce of days gone by, laugh about some of the stupid things I've done, and we will hear all about their hopes and dreams and feelings and past.
Saturday, April 9, 2011
childbirth
Next week our school will be hosting an "International Night"- displaying various booths, representing various countries and people groups-complete with food and cultural entertainment. In preparation for that night, a handful of displays have been set up throughout the school. I have managed to read and look through a few of them, and have found the various marriage/childbirth/coming of age/and burial rituals extremely fascinating.
And of course....they have gotten me thinking.
One of the Asian birthing customs that I heard about (Pakistan? Malaysia? can't recall...) greatly inspired. As soon as the child is born the father picks him up and whispers in his ear:
"God is Great."
"I bear witness that there is none worthy of being worshipped except Allah."
"I bear witness that Muhammed is the Apostle of Allah."
"Come to Prayer."
"Come to Success."
"God is Great."
"There is no object of worship other than Allah."
The desire is for "Allah" to be the first word that the child hears, and for the notion (and act) of worship to be introduced immediately.
If you attended Mark and I's wedding then you know that every minute of our ceremony, every word that was spoken, was planned and rich with meaning. A wedding is a wondrous celebration, but also (in my mind) a sacred moment that is to be set apart. A wedding is a new beginning, as two people start their lives together. It is important to take the time to incorporate one's most important life values at this "new beginning". How much more important, then, is it to celebrate and set apart a birth of a child, introducing the life values you most want to teach to your child?
We have decided that in some form or fashion we would like to adopt this Muslim tradition as a family ritual, to begin with the birth of our first child. We would like to write a prayer for each child during their pregnancy, and for that prayer to be of the first words they hear. We also intend for each of our children's names to be our prayer for their life-and that will be included in the prayer we first pray over them when they are minutes into this world. And of course, of course, I am aware that perhaps the circumstances of our child's (children's) birth will be chaotic, with many people entering in and out, and so maybe this will be out of place in a hospital room. But it will be done...because I want to live this life with my devotion to Christ on the forefront of my mind, my heart, my lips. And my deepest prayer and longing for my children is that they too might devote themselves to our Lord. I want my children to know that the first thing I said to them involved their Savior, I want to read their prayers over them at every birthday celebration. I want them to know, as I know now (even without any plans to conceive a child),that they were divinely created and purposed.
And then a few weeks after their birth I want to have a "Baby Shower". But instead of games and presents, I want it to be a ceremony, much like a wedding ceremony. A dedication to raise my child in a Godly manner. A time for loved ones to gather round and hear my heart, my prayers for my child, and to pray them with me.
This, I think, is something that those Pakistani (?), thos Malaysian (?) families, got right.
And of course....they have gotten me thinking.
One of the Asian birthing customs that I heard about (Pakistan? Malaysia? can't recall...) greatly inspired. As soon as the child is born the father picks him up and whispers in his ear:
"God is Great."
"I bear witness that there is none worthy of being worshipped except Allah."
"I bear witness that Muhammed is the Apostle of Allah."
"Come to Prayer."
"Come to Success."
"God is Great."
"There is no object of worship other than Allah."
The desire is for "Allah" to be the first word that the child hears, and for the notion (and act) of worship to be introduced immediately.
If you attended Mark and I's wedding then you know that every minute of our ceremony, every word that was spoken, was planned and rich with meaning. A wedding is a wondrous celebration, but also (in my mind) a sacred moment that is to be set apart. A wedding is a new beginning, as two people start their lives together. It is important to take the time to incorporate one's most important life values at this "new beginning". How much more important, then, is it to celebrate and set apart a birth of a child, introducing the life values you most want to teach to your child?
We have decided that in some form or fashion we would like to adopt this Muslim tradition as a family ritual, to begin with the birth of our first child. We would like to write a prayer for each child during their pregnancy, and for that prayer to be of the first words they hear. We also intend for each of our children's names to be our prayer for their life-and that will be included in the prayer we first pray over them when they are minutes into this world. And of course, of course, I am aware that perhaps the circumstances of our child's (children's) birth will be chaotic, with many people entering in and out, and so maybe this will be out of place in a hospital room. But it will be done...because I want to live this life with my devotion to Christ on the forefront of my mind, my heart, my lips. And my deepest prayer and longing for my children is that they too might devote themselves to our Lord. I want my children to know that the first thing I said to them involved their Savior, I want to read their prayers over them at every birthday celebration. I want them to know, as I know now (even without any plans to conceive a child),that they were divinely created and purposed.
And then a few weeks after their birth I want to have a "Baby Shower". But instead of games and presents, I want it to be a ceremony, much like a wedding ceremony. A dedication to raise my child in a Godly manner. A time for loved ones to gather round and hear my heart, my prayers for my child, and to pray them with me.
This, I think, is something that those Pakistani (?), thos Malaysian (?) families, got right.
Sunday, April 3, 2011
Spring Break
This last week has been one of my favorite weeks ever spent with my husband.
Spring Break...does a mind, body, and soul some good. (and a house, apparently)
I (and my husband) have cleaned out 4 closets, rearranged 2 living rooms, painted a microwave cart (to be used as a vanity), added wonderful contact paper to spruce up some old furniture, bought a new bookcase for our overwhelming amounts of books, created 2 chalkboards with a little wood and chalkboard paint (and love), planted an herb garden, re-upholstered the boxspring mattress of our guest bed, and in general have clean/organized everything. (with the exception of a few small boxes I have yet to go through).
(The house is almost exactly how I want it to be. Alas, my break is drawing to a close...it's so hard to get projects done whilst working a full week.)
But don't get me wrong...this last week has been full of fun too! Mark and I have recently purchased bikes and over the week got to do a lot of bike riding on the Platte Trail behind our house. On Monday we rode our bikes 12 miles to downtown denver. Wonderful, Glorious, Exhausting! =) I am super proud of myself though!
We got to dine at some of our favorite places this week, and try some new places. We hung out with dear friends and loved each other well. We looked at puppies at the puppy store. We laughed, worked, planned,soaked up the sun, and cleaned together. We enjoyed each other to the fullest extent. I CANNOT wait until this summer. An easier way of life is within reach...
But for the next 40 work days... I will grin and bear it. I will dream of the golden sun, since apparently winter isn't over yet. I will dream of night time fires and grilling out. Hundreds of vegetables fresh from our garden. A puppy that cuddles and wiggles. A hammock that sways in the wind, and folding patio chairs that aid my future tan. I will dream...oh, I will dream.
Spring Break...does a mind, body, and soul some good. (and a house, apparently)
I (and my husband) have cleaned out 4 closets, rearranged 2 living rooms, painted a microwave cart (to be used as a vanity), added wonderful contact paper to spruce up some old furniture, bought a new bookcase for our overwhelming amounts of books, created 2 chalkboards with a little wood and chalkboard paint (and love), planted an herb garden, re-upholstered the boxspring mattress of our guest bed, and in general have clean/organized everything. (with the exception of a few small boxes I have yet to go through).
(The house is almost exactly how I want it to be. Alas, my break is drawing to a close...it's so hard to get projects done whilst working a full week.)
But don't get me wrong...this last week has been full of fun too! Mark and I have recently purchased bikes and over the week got to do a lot of bike riding on the Platte Trail behind our house. On Monday we rode our bikes 12 miles to downtown denver. Wonderful, Glorious, Exhausting! =) I am super proud of myself though!
We got to dine at some of our favorite places this week, and try some new places. We hung out with dear friends and loved each other well. We looked at puppies at the puppy store. We laughed, worked, planned,soaked up the sun, and cleaned together. We enjoyed each other to the fullest extent. I CANNOT wait until this summer. An easier way of life is within reach...
But for the next 40 work days... I will grin and bear it. I will dream of the golden sun, since apparently winter isn't over yet. I will dream of night time fires and grilling out. Hundreds of vegetables fresh from our garden. A puppy that cuddles and wiggles. A hammock that sways in the wind, and folding patio chairs that aid my future tan. I will dream...oh, I will dream.
Friday, March 25, 2011
Thursday, March 17, 2011
bidhan
we re-opened our "house" center today as a veterinarian theme. I overheard this conversation.
Ms. W: okay...bidhan, you're the doctor. in this blank you write your name. so what's your name?
Bidhan: bidhan.
Ms. W. great! in this blank you put your pet's name. What is your pet's name?
Bidhan: Suction!
hahahahahaha. from the mouth of babes.
Ms. W: okay...bidhan, you're the doctor. in this blank you write your name. so what's your name?
Bidhan: bidhan.
Ms. W. great! in this blank you put your pet's name. What is your pet's name?
Bidhan: Suction!
hahahahahaha. from the mouth of babes.
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