To all those who will read this, whether you know all or nothing about our next steps, the purpose of this blog is to share some very big news with you. But before we do that, we first want to say thank you. I don't think either of us knew what it would look like to try to stay connected with family and friends from various stages of our lives during these last two years, but it's been hard. We've done our best to be invested in the present and in our current home, but we have also strived not to forgot those from our past and those far away. And I know I've written a couple times about the dangers of technology, but we can't express how meaningful a quick email, message, or comment can be when things get hard. So, to all those who have supported us and continue to love us well, we say thank you.
Also, before we share our news, I feel the need to share this. For the past five or so years, both Alissa and I have wanted to live and work in Southeast Asia. Call it what you wish...a calling, a dream, a vision, a goal...we've certainly used all of those words ourselves. Whatever the case, based on countless prayers, conversations, and events, that is what we want, and that is where we believe that God wants us to go.
So, the first part of our news is that we are finished with our Peace Corps service, and are now home in the U.S.. We've shared briefly on our blog, and more extensively with close friends and family, that Peace Corps' decision to move us from our island was a pretty negative experience. Still as we look back, we feel that we were moved for very inconsequential reasons, and that the process was done very hurriedly and insensitively. Once we arrived to our new site, we were disappointed to find that Peace Corps did not develop our worksite and was nowhere near finding us a house to live in.
We do feel that we went into this new situation with as open of a mind as we could, but since we were over a year into our service, we ultimately made the decision to leave Peace Corps early. It was a very hard decision, but we felt a lot of peace about it very quickly. When the day came for us to talk about it with our Country Director, he was very understanding and supportive about it. In the end, we were released from our commitment through what Peace Corps calls "interrupted service", stating basically that our service ended because Peace Corps did not hold up their end of the deal and provide us with satisfactory housing and worksite. All in all, we left Tonga on good terms, at peace, but with heavy hearts, remembering all we had done and all the amazing people we crossed paths with.
Peace Corps has been such a blessing in so many ways, but we were and have remained a little disappointed that we were not sent to Asia. However, for many reasons both practical and idealistic, we said yes to the South Pacific. And we are so glad that we did. We wanted a cross-cultural immersion experience. We wanted to learn a different language We wanted to live as part of a small, village community. We wanted to experience living without our many modern amenities. We wanted to know what it was like to live at the same standard, wages, and cultural expectations as those we are serving. We wanted many things from this experience, and whether or not we wanted them with the best intentions or experienced them to the fullest degree, we got everything that we wanted in our wonderful, tiny island.
Yet regardless of what we wanted or gained from our experience, far and above the most lasting and important part of our last two years abroad has to do with the people in our lives. We realized very quickly that the most meaningful, sustainable, and precious part of our service was our relationships with the Tongan people on our island. What we learned and how we grew as a result of knowing these people that are so entirely different from us is what we will remember the most. I still assert the statement that I made very early in our service - that cultural differences are much more significant and run much deeper than I ever imagined. And that challenge, that beautiful struggle to build meaningful, give and take relationships with those wonderful people was, to say the least, life changing.
Lastly, something else that I realized early on is that our Peace Corps Tonga service would be much more of a team effort than we had originally imagined. Because Tonga is such a small place, the roles of the members of our Peace Corps group extended much further than us simply being trained together. Our group was very much, for lack of a better world, our community. And it was a community made up of people that at times felt more different from us than the Tongans we were living with. But, it was such a journey and such a joy getting to know each and every one of them. We are leaving Tonga with some amazing relationships with some incredible people that it's hard to imagine we didn't know at all just a year and a half ago. We will manatu'ofa (remember and cherish with love) all of them, and we know that these relationships will endure.
Mark
Thursday, February 13, 2014
Wednesday, January 29, 2014
On Technology and Reverse Culture Shock
It's not hard to believe, I'm sure, but one of our observations and struggles after coming home after a year and half abroad had to do with re-entering a culture that is obsessed with technology and being "plugged-in" to the online world. Of course, most of us realize and freely admit this, but it was something that was a glaringly stark contrast to how we had lived on our island. I came across this quote from Thoreau's Walden a while back, and it kept coming to mind over and over again during our time in America.
"Our inventions are wont to be pretty toys, which distract our attention from serious things. They are but improved means to an unimproved end, an end which it was already but too easy to arrive at."
(side note: unsurprisingly, these sentiments seem to be right in line with the spirit of this famously subversive "fight the man by finding the meaning of life alone in the woods" piece of literature. But, it's also funny to realize that the "pretty new inventions" that Thoreau was ranting about were railroads and the telegraph. I wonder what ole Henry D. would think of Facebook and iPhones...)
Now, it may seem trite and predictable for us to pretend that we have come back enlightened and elevated above the evils and distractions of contemporary America after our short time abroad. But the true, saddening reality was how easy it became to fall right back in to the temptations that our technology offered us. How easy it was to disconnect from real conversation when there was wireless internet to be had. How easy it was to care more about how people on Facebook perceived me than fully loving the actual people around me.
The other funny and interesting thing to notice was how other people talked about this phenomenon. It seemed like everywhere we went, people would make remarks completely on their own about "how lucky we were to have lived so simply" or "how damaging our society's obsession with technology is." It is as though we are addicts who are fully comfortable admitting that we have a problem, but helplessly floundering as if we don't have the tools to fix ourselves.
Yet, I will always believe it is an unbelievably tough subject, because of all the benefits of modern technology. It was amazing to be able to share our stories, pictures, and experiences with all our family and friends. It was so cool to be able to correspond with and hear from friends living and serving the Lord, literally, all over the world. I believe that globalization and the growing smallness of our world has the potential to connect us in ways never before possible, drawing us to be more compassionate, understanding, and informed people. But, of course, there are dangers on the other side of that coin.
Meditating on Thoreau's quote brings up so many important questions for us. What are the "serious things" that our pretty toys distract us from? Genuine community? Vulnerable relationships? Deeply embracing nature and beauty? Denying consumerism and embracing simplicity? True intimacy with God?
And while our technology has continued to improve and develop at an astounding rate, what is the "unimproved end" that we are striving for in our use of these fancy gadgets? Are we spending time using our inventions for healthy or unhealthy things? Are we choosing to engage with people and the world through online personas rather than genuine, face-to-face interactions? Are we capable of embracing life-giving simplicity while finding a proper balance in our technologically-oriented world?
I'm certainly still very far away from understanding this balance and putting it into action. But, more than ever, I realize that it is so important that we guard ourselves against the temptations of modern technology and strive to live genuine lives free from these easy-to-fasten chains.
Mark
"Our inventions are wont to be pretty toys, which distract our attention from serious things. They are but improved means to an unimproved end, an end which it was already but too easy to arrive at."
(side note: unsurprisingly, these sentiments seem to be right in line with the spirit of this famously subversive "fight the man by finding the meaning of life alone in the woods" piece of literature. But, it's also funny to realize that the "pretty new inventions" that Thoreau was ranting about were railroads and the telegraph. I wonder what ole Henry D. would think of Facebook and iPhones...)
Now, it may seem trite and predictable for us to pretend that we have come back enlightened and elevated above the evils and distractions of contemporary America after our short time abroad. But the true, saddening reality was how easy it became to fall right back in to the temptations that our technology offered us. How easy it was to disconnect from real conversation when there was wireless internet to be had. How easy it was to care more about how people on Facebook perceived me than fully loving the actual people around me.
The other funny and interesting thing to notice was how other people talked about this phenomenon. It seemed like everywhere we went, people would make remarks completely on their own about "how lucky we were to have lived so simply" or "how damaging our society's obsession with technology is." It is as though we are addicts who are fully comfortable admitting that we have a problem, but helplessly floundering as if we don't have the tools to fix ourselves.
Yet, I will always believe it is an unbelievably tough subject, because of all the benefits of modern technology. It was amazing to be able to share our stories, pictures, and experiences with all our family and friends. It was so cool to be able to correspond with and hear from friends living and serving the Lord, literally, all over the world. I believe that globalization and the growing smallness of our world has the potential to connect us in ways never before possible, drawing us to be more compassionate, understanding, and informed people. But, of course, there are dangers on the other side of that coin.
Meditating on Thoreau's quote brings up so many important questions for us. What are the "serious things" that our pretty toys distract us from? Genuine community? Vulnerable relationships? Deeply embracing nature and beauty? Denying consumerism and embracing simplicity? True intimacy with God?
And while our technology has continued to improve and develop at an astounding rate, what is the "unimproved end" that we are striving for in our use of these fancy gadgets? Are we spending time using our inventions for healthy or unhealthy things? Are we choosing to engage with people and the world through online personas rather than genuine, face-to-face interactions? Are we capable of embracing life-giving simplicity while finding a proper balance in our technologically-oriented world?
I'm certainly still very far away from understanding this balance and putting it into action. But, more than ever, I realize that it is so important that we guard ourselves against the temptations of modern technology and strive to live genuine lives free from these easy-to-fasten chains.
Mark
Top 10 Moments of 2013
10. Adam's sweet toast at our Christmas dinner. I don't know when he stopped being the baby and became a man, but wow, I'm just so proud of him.
9. The day the lights got turned on. (You can see that post here). It was such a once in a lifetime type of experience and the celebrating was ...unreal.
8. Paella-both times. The boat, the dancing, the stars, the wine, the friends, the laughs, the memories.
7. The day the boat broke down. And we were stranded in the middle of the ocean. After a few hours a yacht came into view and we flagged it down. From beginning to end it was hilarious and so so memorable.
6. The return of Amanaki's "ako faiva" (Tongan singing and dance practice). The realization we had come one full circle. The beginning of the end. The sharp distinction of who we were and who we are now. The tenderness of the song we could now understand. The easy laughter with our new friends.
5. The 4 days we spent recording our CD. So many great memories with our kiddos!
4. The day we showed mom and dad our island. We literally walked the whole town and they met every single person. I appreciated them coming, their words of encouragement, seeing all we had learned through their eyes, showing off our relationships....just the whole thing.
3. Swimming with the whales. No words!
2. The wharf uma's. Our whole village lined up along the wharf to say their goodbyes and kiss us farewell. I won't ever forget it.
1. Meeting my sweet nephew Jason Lane. I already love him so so much and am counting the days until I get to see him again. Aim has said, " he's the best thing we've ever done" and I love seeing them live that. They are amazing parents.
Can't wait to see what 2014 has in store for us!
An aside: I wanted to put a special moment Mark and I experienced-a moment for us, about us, that bonded us uniquely...but I can't. Because all of the above mentioned we experienced together. In fact, upon reflection, in the entire last year, Mark and I never spent more than 6 hours apart. For those of you who are thinking "you are so so lucky" - you are absolutely right. Never in our married or dating life have we had much time together. It was a huge blessing- a time of amazing growth. For those of you who are thinking " that sounds insane and makes me feel slightly claustrophobic"- you are absolutely right. It's a little (ahem) hard to spend that much time with anyone, even your very best friend.
But crazy amounts of time together aside....I have learned so much about Mark this last year. I have watched him in so many different circumstances, and loved and respected him more and more. We have laughed, read, played, talked, shared old stories, played ukulele and sang, worked crosswords, gardened, swam, walked, worked on Tongan, tickled, played cards, played scrabble, written letters/emails/blogs....all together.
So thankful to have eaten breakfast with my Mark every morning, and to hear the eager greetings of all our neighbors and the barks of our little pup as Mark and Buster returned every afternoon. He is such an amazing man, and I'm happy to know him more and more as the years unfold.
Honorable Mentions: billfish dancing at IST and MST. Seeing family after a year and a half! Our final feast and fakamalo's. Karaoke "scrubs". Our going away party. Ofu kayaking. Tevi 1000. Getting scolded at the Mormon dance. Marks solo at the Mormon conference. The first day of our Kindie. "How Great Thou Art".
9. The day the lights got turned on. (You can see that post here). It was such a once in a lifetime type of experience and the celebrating was ...unreal.
8. Paella-both times. The boat, the dancing, the stars, the wine, the friends, the laughs, the memories.
7. The day the boat broke down. And we were stranded in the middle of the ocean. After a few hours a yacht came into view and we flagged it down. From beginning to end it was hilarious and so so memorable.
6. The return of Amanaki's "ako faiva" (Tongan singing and dance practice). The realization we had come one full circle. The beginning of the end. The sharp distinction of who we were and who we are now. The tenderness of the song we could now understand. The easy laughter with our new friends.
5. The 4 days we spent recording our CD. So many great memories with our kiddos!
4. The day we showed mom and dad our island. We literally walked the whole town and they met every single person. I appreciated them coming, their words of encouragement, seeing all we had learned through their eyes, showing off our relationships....just the whole thing.
3. Swimming with the whales. No words!
2. The wharf uma's. Our whole village lined up along the wharf to say their goodbyes and kiss us farewell. I won't ever forget it.
1. Meeting my sweet nephew Jason Lane. I already love him so so much and am counting the days until I get to see him again. Aim has said, " he's the best thing we've ever done" and I love seeing them live that. They are amazing parents.
Can't wait to see what 2014 has in store for us!
An aside: I wanted to put a special moment Mark and I experienced-a moment for us, about us, that bonded us uniquely...but I can't. Because all of the above mentioned we experienced together. In fact, upon reflection, in the entire last year, Mark and I never spent more than 6 hours apart. For those of you who are thinking "you are so so lucky" - you are absolutely right. Never in our married or dating life have we had much time together. It was a huge blessing- a time of amazing growth. For those of you who are thinking " that sounds insane and makes me feel slightly claustrophobic"- you are absolutely right. It's a little (ahem) hard to spend that much time with anyone, even your very best friend.
But crazy amounts of time together aside....I have learned so much about Mark this last year. I have watched him in so many different circumstances, and loved and respected him more and more. We have laughed, read, played, talked, shared old stories, played ukulele and sang, worked crosswords, gardened, swam, walked, worked on Tongan, tickled, played cards, played scrabble, written letters/emails/blogs....all together.
So thankful to have eaten breakfast with my Mark every morning, and to hear the eager greetings of all our neighbors and the barks of our little pup as Mark and Buster returned every afternoon. He is such an amazing man, and I'm happy to know him more and more as the years unfold.
Honorable Mentions: billfish dancing at IST and MST. Seeing family after a year and a half! Our final feast and fakamalo's. Karaoke "scrubs". Our going away party. Ofu kayaking. Tevi 1000. Getting scolded at the Mormon dance. Marks solo at the Mormon conference. The first day of our Kindie. "How Great Thou Art".
Cyclone Ian and Fiji
During our travels back to Tonga, a catastrophic category 5 cyclone hit Tonga. This was/is the worst cyclone to ever hit Tonga, and while there was only one fatality, on the Ha'apai Island group there is around 80-90% destruction. All of the Tonga Peace Corps Volunteers are safe -though two lost their homes and everything in it, and one volunteer experienced it, taking shelter in a Mormon church. (Thank goodness for the Mormons! Their churches saved so many lives!)
We landed in Fiji about 3 hours before the storm was supposed to hit Tonga, so our flight was cancelled. Our PC country director had family living nearby the airport - so they picked us up, fed us breakfast, and got us settled in a nice hotel in Nadi. We (Mark and I and a fellow PCV named Joey) spent 4 days in Nadi. We were eager to get back to Tonga to hear from all of our PC and Tongan friends, but it was also nice to explore a little of Fiji. We had lots of Indian food, drank kava at weird and questionable places, hiked the famous "Sleeping Giant", tried to look cool swimming in a waterfall, saw the famous Hindu temple, watched every Rocky movie ever made, went zip lining dozens of times, tried to learn Fijian, discussed the differences in Tonga and Fiji, and met some really...eclectic people. All in all-we successfully did Nadi, Fiji in four days, with no pre-made plans, and almost no money. Job well done!
Please keep Tonga-specifically the Ha'apai island group in your prayers. Everything we've heard is that it's bad and is going to get worse.
We landed in Fiji about 3 hours before the storm was supposed to hit Tonga, so our flight was cancelled. Our PC country director had family living nearby the airport - so they picked us up, fed us breakfast, and got us settled in a nice hotel in Nadi. We (Mark and I and a fellow PCV named Joey) spent 4 days in Nadi. We were eager to get back to Tonga to hear from all of our PC and Tongan friends, but it was also nice to explore a little of Fiji. We had lots of Indian food, drank kava at weird and questionable places, hiked the famous "Sleeping Giant", tried to look cool swimming in a waterfall, saw the famous Hindu temple, watched every Rocky movie ever made, went zip lining dozens of times, tried to learn Fijian, discussed the differences in Tonga and Fiji, and met some really...eclectic people. All in all-we successfully did Nadi, Fiji in four days, with no pre-made plans, and almost no money. Job well done!
Please keep Tonga-specifically the Ha'apai island group in your prayers. Everything we've heard is that it's bad and is going to get worse.
There's no Place like Home for the Holidays
Sorry for the blog silence! Mark and I got to spend an incredible, amazing, wonderful, unforgettable month visiting family back in the States. We spent a few weeks in Oklahoma with Marks parents and Grandmas doing all things Christmas, drinking way too much coffee, learning about Russia, enjoying movies, and catching up on all we had missed.
My brother popped on by for a few days. I was so so excited to see him that I literally cried when I saw him walking up the drive. I am so proud of Adam, and so awed by how...mature he is. Since when did my baby brother get so grown up?! He treated us to an amazing dinner, complete with toast, and shared so many crazy stories of his last year that I can't help but hope he'll write a book someday.
Mark's sister and brother-in-law came home for a few days as well. It was so great seeing them and connecting with them in new ways. We always enjoy hearing about Laura's life as a nurse, and we sure didn't mind Aaron's new manager position at Bonefish Grill, which allowed us to stuff ourselves full of steaks and Blooming onions for about $7.
Then we drove down to Texas to finally finally finally meet the cutest baby in the whole wide world, my nephew, Jason Lane Austin. This kid blew my socks off, if you haven't met him, you need to! It was so good hanging out with Aim and Jase- lots of laughing, lots of talking, lots of kava and cranberita's. :) I personally also enjoyed watching Mark try to change a diaper (all three of us were on deck, secretly hoping he would get peed on.)
Then we were off to California to celebrate the New Year. My parents have really inspired us this year with their focus on memory-making, and we all definitely made some great memories. Mark and I (and mom and dad) visited Napa for the first time, which was so wonderful-thanks Dad for planning such an unforgettable trip.
We ate so much (and way too much) amazing food, shared so many laughs, felt a little more caught up on all these dear people's lives, and all in all had a great trip home. We had hoped to see some of you faithful friends out there, and can't express how sad we were/are that it didn't work out that way this time. I hope it does next time...our days just flew!
My brother popped on by for a few days. I was so so excited to see him that I literally cried when I saw him walking up the drive. I am so proud of Adam, and so awed by how...mature he is. Since when did my baby brother get so grown up?! He treated us to an amazing dinner, complete with toast, and shared so many crazy stories of his last year that I can't help but hope he'll write a book someday.
Mark's sister and brother-in-law came home for a few days as well. It was so great seeing them and connecting with them in new ways. We always enjoy hearing about Laura's life as a nurse, and we sure didn't mind Aaron's new manager position at Bonefish Grill, which allowed us to stuff ourselves full of steaks and Blooming onions for about $7.
Then we drove down to Texas to finally finally finally meet the cutest baby in the whole wide world, my nephew, Jason Lane Austin. This kid blew my socks off, if you haven't met him, you need to! It was so good hanging out with Aim and Jase- lots of laughing, lots of talking, lots of kava and cranberita's. :) I personally also enjoyed watching Mark try to change a diaper (all three of us were on deck, secretly hoping he would get peed on.)
Then we were off to California to celebrate the New Year. My parents have really inspired us this year with their focus on memory-making, and we all definitely made some great memories. Mark and I (and mom and dad) visited Napa for the first time, which was so wonderful-thanks Dad for planning such an unforgettable trip.
We ate so much (and way too much) amazing food, shared so many laughs, felt a little more caught up on all these dear people's lives, and all in all had a great trip home. We had hoped to see some of you faithful friends out there, and can't express how sad we were/are that it didn't work out that way this time. I hope it does next time...our days just flew!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)