A Christmas Baby

I haven’t always spent my Christmas season in the tropics, with the air con cranked high,
a hodge podge of Christmas decor and traditions a part of my holiday celebrations.
I’ll always think there’s a little something extra special about spending Christmas in a place that
actually has a winter, there’s just a bit more romance, magic, and “rightness” to it all, in my opinion.
I remember the year I fell in love with Mark, right during my most magical first Christmas in Denver.
The snow illuminates all the city lights and it’s just… breathtaking. I loved Christmas time in Denver.

I don’t have many memories of Mark and I planning for or chatting about children.
(Back in our first years of marriage I was desperate to get overseas, and probably every
“serious” conversation we had was about my burning passions and our 5 year goal of how we’d
end up where...so almost nothing has changed except that I’m able to have this conversation way
less frequently now….like once a month instead of once a week ;))

But one of our last Christmas’ in Denver I had a “moment”. Our church, which Mark was the
Music person (pastor? Director?) for on top of his teaching job, put on a musical using Andrew
Peterson’s “Behold the Lamb” album (fantastic, btw).  I remember one night sitting in the church- for a
service or a rehearsal or some such thing. It was cold and dark outside, and dark inside too, but
the twinkling Christmas lights and friendly faces made it warm and inviting. I was sitting next to
a friend who was expecting, bursting (like I am) with life coming at any moment. The band started
singing “Labor of Love”- a song about Mary as she gives birth to Jesus. And I can remember being
so swept up in that moment- in the magic of Christmas, the strength of Mary, the whole Christmas
story. And I guess at that time I knew children were a bit far off for us, but I remember wishing that
if the time ever came for us to have a child, that I could have a child right around Christmas time,
because of the magic and beauty and power of this season.

In insignificant ways I sometimes think God remembers me. This is hard for me to think- hard for me
to say- harder still to believe and impossible not to believe. I have prayed and hoped for so many
much more significant things, and yet in this small insignificant way, I think perhaps I was heard.
Mysterious and maddening.  

I read an essay about Advent by Sarah Bessey, whom I really enjoy reading when I have the time.
She says “advent is for the ones who know longing”.

I think of our daughter and why we named her Jubilee. Because we long for restoration and
we hope to be apart of bringing His kingdom here.

I think of our son, and the name we have chosen for him, because again, still, we long.

This Advent I am longing, and very soon I will hold a new little baby in my arms. I imagine we will
sit under the blasting air con, with the twinkly lights and Oh Holy Night and all the best Christmas
songs playing many times in the next few weeks. And I pray that this Christmas season is especially
sweet as I think of Mary while holding my son.

2017

As the year comes to a close I find myself taking stock of the last year, like all of you I am sure. I am thinking back on the places we traveled (literally and figuratively) and the road we're on now.

Here's my top ten of 2017.

10. London, Geneva, and Paris

Spending a week and a half in Europe on our way home to the U.S. last summer was--incredible. We reconnected with some much loved friends who hosted and babysat us as we made our way through Europe for the first time. We loved reminiscing with them and truly thank God for bringing them into our lives. We also very much enjoyed everything about eating and walking our way through Paris, the diversity of London, and the time in the outdoors in Switzerland. A special shout out to many chats with Junita and a visit to the ICRC that rekindled what I will always believe is my life calling to (in the words of Pope Francis), "welcome, protect, promote, and integrate" refugees.

9. Jubilee's 1st Birthday

First- we kept her alive for a year.
Second- is it just me or does everything start to get a little easier around then? Like- she's still in our charge, but more than likely she's going to survive- so, I guess I can relax a little. Am I right?
Third- This little girl was loved, celebrated, and prayed over on her birthday and all the days since and that's something really special.

8. Settling In

I feel like our little family goes back and forth a lot from Bangkok to the U.S. We're super lucky to get to do that and we try to be where we are, wherever we are. But one of the things that has happened this year, which I am incredibly grateful for, is that I have felt a bit more settled in in Bangkok this year. My transition from running a program in a very intense more than full time job to sudden stay at home mom to a lovely (and needy) baby girl made 2016... a bit rocky. I couldn't for the life of me figure out what it was I was doing in Bangkok. But this year has been incredibly beautiful. Our apartment complex and surrounding community are such a blessing. I've got a handful of mamas that do life with me pretty much every day. I don't think I would survive without them. I've got several women who are a bit ahead of me on this motherhood journey and I love peppering them with questions and am so thankful they listen to my whines and worries. I have several older and wiser women who act as our Bangkok mamas/grandmas- these women's interest in our family has been a very sweet blessing.

7. Laura and Rick Visited

In May Mark's sister and brother-in-law came for a visit. We were thrilled to show them around and had so much fun doing some touristy things with them in Bangkok and travelling to Chiang Mai together. It was especially sweet to see them loving on J girl!

6. Happenstance reunions with forever friends



In June we discovered that we were scheduled to be in Florida the same week as our dear friends Nick and Beth. Getting our two families together (despite un-synced nap times and breastfeeding in a wave pool) was pure magic. It makes me teary to think about. The icing on the cake was that since we were all on vacation with family- grandparents agreed to watch the kiddos so that we could live it up drinking minimargs (or some such) and winning at a trivia night. Can't wait for our next reunion!

5. Senior Chapel

Mark was honored to address the seniors in the Senior chapel at the end of the school year last year. This group of kiddos was very special to Mark, in small part because he taught most of them twice (as sophomores and seniors), but mostly because they were an exceptional group of young people. Mark did a fantastic job expressing his pride, love, and "charge" to his "kids"- many were touched.

4. THE wedding



My baby brother grew up and found an amazing woman and went and married her (pretty much all last year!). Their wedding was beautiful in every way and I was so proud of my brother and so happy to have gained a new friend in my sister-in-law Natalie.

3. Mark's lifegroup

At the beginning of the school year Mark purposefully prayed for direction on what students to pour into for the year. Shortly after, a group of kids approached him interested in meeting with him once a week. Mark has come home week after week excited about or mulling over the content of their discussions. It's always exciting and humbling to see God answer prayers.

2. Zaki

Speaking of answered prayer... we asked all of you to give our dear friend a bus load of money, and you did. I was timid and anxious to launch our fundraising effort for Zaki and you (and so many others) blessed us all abundantly with your generosity. We can't say thank you enough.

Including "zaki" in our TOP TEN list seems a strange thing. I'm not sure I've had a darker day than when we received news of his arrest. But we are hopeful about his future, and incredibly thankful that he is in relationship with our family- that he IS apart of our family. When you think of us and him, please continue to pray that his process with the Canadian government would be miraculously speedy and that he would remain strong in the detention center in Bangkok.

1. Christmas in California

There's always something magical about being at my parent's home for the holidays. And seeing them be lolli and pops with Jubilee is truly a gift.


2017 was full of a lot of life. Some moments were mundane- (too) early morning wake ups and dishes and babies that won't nap. Some moments were so full of all the best parts of living that we laughed until we cried (or probably for me, cried until I laughed). Some moments we despaired- sat in silent tears broken about the realities of the world. May our next year be just as full of moments mundane and magical. May we learn how to live in the brokenness of the world while hoping for and working towards His Kingdom.

Jubi's top ten:
10. nakey baby
9. Dijah
8. Emmie
7. Maxy
6. Outside
5. MoMo
4. Happy Feet
3. Aya
2. mamas milkies
1. raaraa
**These are the words she said over the course of writing this post- though this random sampling is pretty accurate. Special mention to pops and yaya (lolli), one more cheese please, "2", and "jot ay" (peek a boo in Thai)

The Things We're Missing Out on Here

Or, the thing we have missed out on all along. 

Several days ago contracts got sent out at Mark's work- we need to decide if we're staying or leaving. Well, we know we are staying- but we haven't decided if we will sign on for another two years, or just one (and then play it by ear). 

And- there's lots to be said about all of that (and rest assured I've probably said it all to Mark about 5,000 times). There are hundreds of ways that living here is such a blessing, I honestly think that if we were to make a pros/ cons list that the pros would far outweigh the cons. But today, I had this memory of this experience we had in Burma a few Christmas' ago (another pro- getting to travel!) and it reminds me of something we are missing here.

 I'd never done any multi-day hikes, so we signed up for a trek from Kalaw (a small wonderful village) down to Inle Lake. It was a three day, two night endeavor, and it is hands down my favorite thing we've ever done. Our whole holiday in Burma was perfect, and the trek was just icing on the cake.

Travelling in Burma (at least 4 years ago) required more planning than travel elsewhere in this region. I'd poured over guidebooks and blogs and it all said pretty much the same thing- tourism is relatively new, so book in advance as it's not uncommon to show up in a town and find every hotel fully booked. There was (is?) also really specific rules about money- what kinds of bills that were accepted (US dollars), what condition the bills were in (pristine- we're talking no folds or creases) and certain dates of currency were deemed unusable. I'm not going to lie, planning the trip was kind of intense and definitely brought out my worst anxiety-ridden, anal planning side. 

But- I guess this is the beginning of when you could say I started to chill out about travel, because I'd read somewhere that the best trekking company couldn't be booked ahead of time, and it was best to just walk into "such and such" restaurant and ask for "such and such" person and try to get in on the next trek. I was incredibly tickled when it turned out to be just as easy as that. We found ourselves (freezing cold) at the local restaurant signing up for a trek to leave the next day. We made some friends while we sat and chatted and we all agreed to sign on for the same trek. 

The next morning when we left there were 6 of us tourists (us, the two guys we'd met the day before, and an older married Israeli couple). Our guide was named Zaw and he had the biggest smile, whitest teeth, lightest laugh, biggest skip in his step of anyone you ever met. His joy and delight and wonder still cause me to pause. 

He literally laughed and sang and ran and jumped and talked and joked us over the hills and through the villages for hours upon hours. I instantly adored him. 

Often while we walked he would point things out to us- what crop/plant/flower was growing. He chatted about Burmese culture and politics, he talked of his family and ambitions. 

He stopped at one point to show us a spider's web. We sat and stared at it for minutes. I honestly have never done that before. He gingerly took the spider from the web and asked us to pull the webbing from it. He quizzed us, wanting to know if we knew how long the webbing is. By this point in the trip we had long learned that these hills were Zaw's backyard- that he was the teacher and we were the pupils-so we waited for him to tell us. I can still hear his delighted, laughter-filled exclamation- "I already spent an entire day pulling it and it NEVER ends". 

Maybe you had to be there. Or maybe it's really not that momentous. But he totally meant it when he said he sat with a spider held delicately in his hand while he curiously pulled out the webbing. for an entire day. You could just see it, because he spoke of the crops and the flowers and the seasons and the people and the animals with the same kind of reverent knowledge. Because he walked through the land with an authority and a respect that made me wonder if maybe I'd gotten it all wrong and maybe we should leave it all and move to one of those village towns. 

And days like today, when I'm wondering how long it is we might stay in this concrete jungle, I hear the call of Zaw and those villages and all the different spiders of which I've never learned of their webs. 

Summer in Europe - Part 1 - History and Culture

Our two week trip to Europe this summer afforded us the opportunity to see some truly bucket list-worthy sights.  For the sake of better preserving the memories, here are some highlights.

London

Having taught British literature for a few years, some of London's literary and artistic landmarks were at the top of my list here.

The "Treasures" collection at the British Library - complete with originally penned works by the likes of Keats, Tolstoy, Byron, Shelley, and Shakespeare.

The gallery of artwork by William Blake, one of my favorites, at the Tate Britain museum.  Some highlights were engravings from Songs of Innocence and The Ghost of a Flea.

Van Gogh's Sunflowers and the unexpected surprises of Sir John Everett Millais's Ophelia and John William Waterhouse's Lady of Shallot at the National Gallery.

The immensely famous Westminister Abbey.  I was particularly excited to see the resting places of some famous writers at "Poet's Corner."  In a single picture, you can see markers for Tennyson, T.S. Eliot, Hopkins, Wordsworth, Dylan Thomas, Lewis Carroll, and Byron.

Shakespeare's Globe - the modern reconstructed replica of the fabled playwright's performance center.

The George Pub - the oldest pub in London, frequented by the likes of Dickens and Shakespeare.

Geneva

We stayed in a small town outside of Geneva, right on the lake, with relatives of our good friend Junita.  

The market in the town Morges, about 15 minutes from our house.

The Chateaux de Chillon, a beautiful ancient castle on the shores of Lake Geneva, which I found out later is actually the most visited historic monument in all of Switzerland.  It also boasted literary intrigue for its self-carved name of Lord Byron in the dungoen, who was inspired by a prisoner of the castle to write "The Prisoner of Chillon."

The United Nations and the UNHCR in Geneva.

The Red Cross Museum, which featured both an inspiring tour of the history of the organization and some highlights global human rights efforts in general, including the original Geneva Convention and names of the millions of holocaust victims whom the IRC attempted to locate and re-connect with family members.

Paris

We spent a few packed-full days in Paris living out of a tiny AirBNB apartment in the central 1st Arrondissement.  It did not disappoint on any front.

We spent a Sunday morning popping into famous historical churches that included...

Sainte Chapelle, which contains one of the most impressive stained-glass displays I've ever seen

Notre Dame, which houses some famous Catholic relics that included Christ's purported Crown of Thorns

Some smaller, but equally impressive churches in the Latin Quarter - St. Julien le Pauvre, St. Severin Church, and Saint Germain des Pres. 

As for paintings, we skipped the Louvre and went to the Musée d'Orsay, which displayed such gems as Van Gogh's Sower with Setting Sun, Starry Night Over the Rhone, and some of Monet's Water Lilies.

Summer in Europe - Part 2 - Adventures in Food

Anyone who knows me knows that I get as excited about new food when I travel as I do about anything else.  Needless to say, I was super excited to eat our way across Europe.  We of course tried to have some of the iconic fare from each of the three countries we visited, along with some unexpected surprises.  There was so much good stuff, I had to write it all down!

London

 In London, we had classics like fish 'n' chips, steak and ale pie, and British ales in some local pubs.  We also tried Ian and Junita's favorite local spot for Indian food, where we ate four plates of amazing curried rack of lamb.  Alissa was also on a mission to find scones and clotted cream, which I managed to procure on our very last day.

Geneva

Some highlights here included some moules marinières (mussles) at a cafe right on Lake Geneva and lots and lots of cheese.  Real Gruyère was no joke.

The highlight, though, was Junita's uncle Edwin's offer to share a raclette of cheese with us - which he insisted is far more pure and superior in comparison to fondue.   This ridiculous cheese and method of eating cheese involved heating a huge half-wheel with a specially designed heating element and scraping off globs of melted cheese to eat with potatoes and other things.  And yes, it was as amazing as it looks.

Paris

I actually had a list of specific foods I wanted to have in Paris - most of which I'd never had before -  and I think I got to all of them.  This list included foie gras, steak tartare, escargot, duck breast.  All were amazing, and the French more than lived up to their food-glorifying reputation.   I read in a book during our time here that UNESCO has even declared French cuisine a "world intangible heritage."

And of course, we couldn't leave Paris without having lots of pastries - every morning, mind you - and baguette sandwiches.